What to do… what to do…

The only election I’ve ever really watched for the returns from the edge of my seat was a few years ago during the primary when I ran for Coroner.


Keisel, the official K9 sponsor of my run for Coroner.

Today I find myself in a quandary as to whether or not I want to watch this whole mess unravel tonight. After all, we still haven’t watched Sunday’s episode of The Walking Dead! — No spoilers please, I will hunt you down.


We don’t get the local “Live From the Laundry Room” thanks to DirecTV, so we’d have to get local returns elsewhere; perhaps from the County’s website. (Truthfully I don’t miss the local channel(s), I can get more up-to-date and accurate info from social media sites most of the time.)

Of course, we can watch the national crap on the Clinton News Network or Faux News, but who the hell wants to watch and listen to those clowns all night?


All of this tomfoolery doesn’t mean that I’m not interested or concerned with the potential outcome of the election(s) but as with most people I know, I’ve grown weary of it all.

Perhaps the best solution is to just have dinner and catch up on some of our shows. The rollercoaster of projections, late returns, and all of the partisan conjecture just isn’t appealing.

But before bed, I’ll need to check the results, especially on the national level so that I’ll know if I need  to go buy ammo tomorrow while it’s still on the shelves and affordable.

Along those lines…

For all you sissy-la-la, bed-wetting, fair-weather citizens that plan to move to another country depending on the results of the election, on January 1st I plan to hold a “Starbucks for Guns” trade-in program. Before you run to the utopian country of your choice, I will trade a Starbucks beverage of your choice for all of the firearms that you and your entourage may own that will not be legal to possess in your new version of paradise.

We’ll have to keep the line moving, so once you’ve finished your beverage I have to insist that you get on your way and take your ass somewhere else. And never come back. Ever.

So until tonight, I’ll just plug away at the projects I have going at work, crank some tunes in my office, ponder the consequences of tonight’s election results and the effect on the future of this great country; and trust that my scheduler publishes this blog post at the right time during today.

It all makes me think of how relevant the lyrics to this old Queensrÿche song are now…


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